A MODEST PROPOSAL
FOR PROTECTING THE CITIZENS OF AMERICA BY RIDDING THE EXISTENCE OF FIREARMS, AND REPLACING ARMS WITH MEANS OF PROTECTION IN A SAFER MEDIUM.
It is truly a tragedy to become subject to what is often the result of the existence of firearms within our society. Crimes: robbery, murder, theft, are often an element in the usage of firearms. Guns kill people, people most certainly do not kill other people. Of course, people who commit crimes should not be allowed to own a firearm, but, truthfully, hunters and recreation shooters shouldn’t be able to either. If violent people are not allowed to keep arms, then everyday men shouldn’t be allowed to either. They have just as much potential as anyone else to snap. Firearms and their availability are truly a hazard to society, in all aspects. Firearms do not only bring physical danger, but mental ones as well. There is always much political turmoil and dispute with firearms, and that is why firearms and other kinds of dangerous weaponry will be eliminated under my proposal.
I make a modest proposal, that all firearms are to be eliminated from all parameters of our society. Instead, the following is to be instilled for our people: in the case of criminals, no, we will not completely take away their weaponry, but bring them together that is. Rather than restricting the activity of criminals, we will encourage the usage of firearms, however, this encouragement will only be administered with two armed criminals in padded room. Who is to say that we cannot eliminate crime? As for hunters and recreational shooters, their firearms will indeed be confiscated in a peaceful manner, and they will be given a large fishing net; effective and safe. The only alteration that would need to be made to their lifestyle is possibly training in to increase personal speed. Now, it is understandable that there would probably be concern about these newly instilled methods, but the benefits most certainly outweigh what is bad about the changes. There will no longer be any possibility for death or destruction by way of flying bullets.
Lack of firearms will also greatly benefit society in many other ways besides ridding danger. An abundance of paper will be saved because there will be less legal documents that would need to be drawn up for the ownership, transportation, and purchase of a firearm. Pollution will be lessened because there would be less factories running, producing smog, then would have been running if firearm were being produced. This modest proposal will be having a positive impact on the environment as well.
There is no need to worry as to what the military will be using, as all wars will be eliminate with the passage of this modest proposal. If the military needs to stay in their area of conduct, then they will be readily supplied with water guns; not destructive but it still gets the point across. It would be completely illogical and irrational to think that possibly guns could exist in society without the application of probable laws. Laws are more often than not, broken, and that is why the temptation should become eliminated altogether.
Elimination of firearms is only for the best because it will solve all of the firearm’s potential problems and dangers. This is a revolutionary idea that is absolutely sure to be positive and interesting for all.
*Dislcaimer *I'm not very skilled in deerhunting with a fishing net :)
